The Home Front. -Questions with open ended answers.

12:11 AM Jmo 0 Comments

My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine. 
-Jarod Kintz

These past two weeks I had the pleasure of stepping back onto the soil of the great US of A. It had been exactly one year to the day since I'd been home. My mind was a whirlwind of everything that had changed and all that managed to stay the same. My family is incredible and the best support system that anyone could ask for. My friends are incredible and the best group to share a pint and a story with. And the optimism and strength, gained from touching base, might just be incredible enough to propel me confidently forward into whatever decision I make next.

It was interesting to hear all of the advice, questions, and assumptions that came out while talking face to face: What's next?; You're not coming home are you?; When are you coming home?; Don't you want to find someone special to travel with?; Jess, you're young. Keep going!; Don't you want to settle down?; We're almost 30., I want to have kids by 30 so that gives me one year to find someone and get engaged. What about you?; I don't want you to stay here.; It's South Korea, right?; Don't you miss home?; What about insurance?, What about retirement?; Everyday must be so exciting!; Travel now. Do it while you're young.; Come home!; Look at me. I'm 50 and just now starting grad school. You've got time.; How many tattoos?; Where are you going next?; You're going to keep going right? ...

All these statements and inquiries swirled about and continue to swirl about in my head after returning back to Korea. And the truth is, for the first time in a long time, not one of those questions bothered me. I have a plan in mind (the trend going around right now seems to be a 5-year one) but I'm also content with the unknown. Many of the decisions I've made to get me to where I am today have been on whims or with little to no forethought. Like my artwork and travel plans; I'm on a "first thought, best thought" routine. Things have just always... kinda worked out for me! And honestly, the fact that I  now have a loose plan that spans more than a couple years is the one thing that worries me. I've added the variable of possible disappointment. But! I'm optimistic and looking forward to chasing what I want. Whatever that is~ (Side note: It's equal parts depressing and exciting how much there is to see in the world. Will you ever see it all? No. But it'll be fun to try. "I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list.")

My family and friends are rockstars by the way.


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